In my Julie & Julia & Matt post I indicated my conviction to never promote myself or my efforts. This was a conviction based upon my observations of what happens to people elevated to platforms they are not mature enough to handle. (Britney Spears, Kate Gosselin, Miley Cyrus, for example). I have always valued my faith, my family, and my loved ones more important than any desire to be in any type of limelight position. I have been afraid of what a ton of public attention would do to my ego, and the affect it would have on those around me. Thus, I have worked hard not to "brag on myself" to others for several years now.
This wasn't true around 6 years ago or so, when major insecurities ruled my life. At that time, the only way I would feel good about myself is if others, especially people of influence, would give me attention.
For example, I would crave being mentioned by name in church by a "platform person". Oh, the pastor is talking about people who have active prayer lives. I have an active prayer life. I hope he mentions my name as an example to everyone.
Ok, this is embarrassing. But, I'll continue.
To make a long story short, a number of years ago I developed an unhealthy emotional attachment that caused a lot of pain to myself, and to those closest to me. This attachment fed my insecurities. I did a lot of soul searching and realized the only One who can make me feel good about myself without any guilt is God, the Creator. Knowing His good, loving, approving thoughts towards me has kept me from being controlled by insecurities.
But, I don't want to go back to that place that caused so much pain to the ones I love the most. So, with few exceptions, I have only ascended platforms after receiving unsolicited invitations.
This morning, I was reading a letter by Martin Luther (not to be confused with MLK JR) to Pope Leo. If you'll recall, Martin Luther was the founder and CEO of the Protestant Church. The year was 1520 A.D. Martin Luther was openly confronting the Church of Rome regarding how far their teachings strayed from salvation "by grace, through faith" alone. Yet, Martin Luther was very humble, and respectful of the Pope, making sure the Pope knew his battle was against the Church's teachings, and not with the Pope himself. Martin Luther knew he was addressing the most influential Christian leader of his time period. Pretty lofty stuff, which Luther probably felt he was not qualified to do.
Yet, Luther wrote, "I do this, not from any desire to teach (or to correct), but as a duty, from that simple and faithful solicitude which teaches us to be anxious for all that is safe for our neighbours, and does not allow considerations of worthiness or unworthiness to be entertained, being intent only on the dangers or advantage of others".
In other words, Luther felt a conviction of the Lord to address the Catholic Church's abuses of Scripture, and left the results up to the Lord. Luther had to follow his convictions, and trust the Lord would not let him get in over his head. He felt his desires were pure, and so he had to follow his convictions.
So, I stand corrected.
Whew! Now I can tell people about my blog.
Can anyone tell me what the phone number is to take out an ad in the USA Today?
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